


May Your Past Be the Sound

by ipreferaviators



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Gen, Hair, Stiles-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-27
Updated: 2013-02-27
Packaged: 2017-12-03 18:53:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/701517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ipreferaviators/pseuds/ipreferaviators
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At first, Stiles doesn't even realize he's doing it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	May Your Past Be the Sound

**Author's Note:**

> Stiles grows his hair out for Season Three. Jeff Davis asked the fans, over twitter, why he might. This was my answer (though it was in 140 characters at the time).
> 
> Title from fun.'s "Carry On."

At first, Stiles doesn't even realize he's doing it. Later, he'll look back and think maybe he just forgot that first time. Forgot that his hair was getting longer, that it was time to break out the clippers and give himself another buzz cut. But at the time, when they're dealing with the looming threat of the Alpha Pack, and Scott and Derek aren't on speaking terms, and Lydia is firmly in epic life-saving love with Jackson, he honestly doesn't think about it.

He does remember the first time he notices, though. He remembers when he first looks in the mirror and sees the tendrils of hair curling around his ears, the way they used to when he was young, and he feels his breathing get shallower and shallower and his heart start to race. He has to sit down on the floor of the bathroom, back to the door, and close his eyes and just breath for a while. But for some reason, he still doesn't cut it.

He first shaved his head with his mom, when the chemo started to take her hair like it was taking everything else good and beautiful about her. She brought out a razor and asked him to help, asked him to make sure she didn't miss any spots when she removed all traces of the thick brown hair they both shared. Afterwards, he asked her to do the same for him. It felt like they were in this together, like they weren't fighting separate battles (her against the disease, and him against the loneliness of losing someone he loved), like they were presenting a united front against all the uncontrollable evils of the world. But in the end, they both lost their battles, and they were both alone.

He doesn't forget the next time, but he still leaves the clippers on the shelf.

When they finally take the Alpha Pack down, and the two Beacon Hills packs form a tentative truce, and Jackson runs away to god-knows-where to lick his wounds and find himself, Stiles finally stops to think about why his hair is now brushing the tops of his eyes and curling around the bottom of his neck. He looks in the bathroom mirror and thinks about his mother, fighting a losing battle against inevitable failure, and he thinks maybe that's not who he is anymore. He can't afford to be that anymore. He thinks about being a kid and believing wholeheartedly that good will always triumph over evil, that the hero always wins at the end of the day, and he thinks maybe that's not who he is anymore, either, but maybe that's who he can be again. Who he _should_ be again.

He throws the clippers away, and goes downstairs to make his dad some dinner.


End file.
